Q.O.T.D.

Quote of the day:

"I accidentally marked myself as pregnant at lenscrafter today"

followed by...

"so she had to cross it out and write in 'patient no pregnant'"

where the wild things are.

i forgot how good the arcade fires' funeral cd was. i was reminded when the trailer for where the wild things are came on while i was watching earth in the movie theater. such an amazing cd that will never get old.

i find myself resorting to old cd's to get that head bopping, musical high feeling. where is all the good music?! must be with all the wild things.

if you haven't noticed by now, i am obsessed with the release of that movie and the trailer. it will be so fuckin amazing...im sure of it.

skinny jeans.

i'll admit it, i wear skinny jeans. why? because i hate baggy clothes. it's no longer the 90's and i think boot cut jeans are fugly. don't hate on guys wearing skinny jeans because im sure people are hating on you for wearing [blank].

but, my gripe with skinny jeans is the lack of elasticity in the calves. it's the most annoying thing when i need to go poo or take off my pants (for whatever sexual or non-sexual reason that may be) and it literally takes 20 seconds just to pull my jeans down because my calves do not blend in with my thigh or ankles (thankles? is that a word? can it be? i'm submitting to urban dictionary as we speak).

my favorite skinny jeans are from kill city which i got for dirt ass cheap...$30 cheap. CHEAP! but i guess with low costs come sacrifice because my calves are getting the shit end of the jean stick.

bathroom etiquette.

don't you love the company bathroom? it's such an awkward place to be in. you sheepishly say hello to coworkers in there before or after they handle their business. my favorite is when you walk out of a stall (because as a guy, you obviously just dropped the cosby kids off at the pool) and someone you know is waiting to use it. you start thinking, "shit, everything better have flushed." or "fuck, i hope i didn't leave streaks in the toilet bowl".

for me, my goal is to get in and out. i'm not trying to kick it and read the entire article in time about the demise of our generation. i have my desk at work to do so.

what i don't understand is how people are able to chat on the phone while in a public restroom as they are handling their internal business. i don't need to hear you talk to your girlfriend about what she is making tonight for dinner, or that your UPS package has arrived in the mail, and i surely do not need to know what time you are going to the doctors for your annual physical and whatever else you are getting checked out.

in addition, the heavy breathing and occasional "oh yeahhhh" is leading me to believe you are doing more than #2. sure, pooing is relieving, but if you're making an O-face while doing so, then i need to know what kind of fiber you are consuming.

did you forget you are at work in the bathroom with several other dudes? and please do not look at me while i am peeing because the only eye contact i want to make is with the tile in front of me. thank you.

Sex @ 3am

trust me, i'm all for sex. strap it, wrap it, do what you gotta do. i'm ALL for people having protected sex, albeit safe. but can you please not have hardcore, orange bangin sex at 3am on a fuckin weekday?!

sleep is imperative. i love it, you love it, we all love it. so let me get some fuckin sleep and you can make your babies before midnight.

griffith park.

after years of living in la, i finally managed to hike griffith park. one word would sum up the hike...shit. there is shit everywhere. dog shit, horse shit, probably human shit. there is literally shit for most of the trail. i love nature, i love green, i love treehuggers and what they believe in, but i do not love shit (except for when im doing it on the damn toilet).

also, keep your dogs on leashes. these little beasts are running up and down and as much as i don't mind petting a pug or some frou frou dog, your huge pit bull or mini horse can easily go buck wild and stomp the shit our of someone. leash your animal and pick up your shit.